Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
