I'm drive I can fine osifer
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so let's talk penis.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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