I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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