I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
