Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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