She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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