There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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