her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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