i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
