I didn't shave. On purpose
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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