oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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