You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
