I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
