my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
