how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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