Welp...herpes.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
