I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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