Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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