but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
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