help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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