My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
