Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
