i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
