Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
