I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
