Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
