dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
is this the sara with the beer cane?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
