I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
