dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
