Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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