I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
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