She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
