If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
