The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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