you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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