Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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