Your tits are I can't wait for
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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