i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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