I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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