Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
