Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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