I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
