Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
