But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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