I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
