You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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