Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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