I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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