She is in my trunk
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Blood and glitter go together right?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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