I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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