Don't you send me to vm
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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