Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Randomize
