I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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