Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
