sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
