no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sry I called you an 8
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
