Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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