she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
