; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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