just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
