I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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