You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize