But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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